Episode 17
Entrapment Ahoy
The spines of the Stone Mask may pierce through the skulls of men,
but it lacks the strength to even penetrate our eternal flesh.
It necessitates a greater source of strength.
That's toasty...
This is the Red Stone of Aja,
the rarest and most beautiful of all gemstones of the natural world.
Light entering this gemstone will be refracted over one-billion times within,
which amplifies the intensity of light, allowing a single concentrated beam to exit through its angle of entry.
A prodigious power of the natural world.
But it lacks potency!
The strength of this imperfect cut cannot empower the spines to pierce our skulls!
Only the perfect cut, the Ultimate Aja, may be embedded into the Stone Mask,
granting the spines sufficient strength!
And once we adorn the True Stone Mask, we will overcome the Sun,
we shall reach the final stage of our evolution as True Omnipotent Organisms!
The creator of the Stone Mask was fabled to be
Cars, the most intelligent of all Pillar Men.
Long ago, he crossed the Atlantic together with ACDC and Wham, in search of the Ultimate Aja.
Suzie Q.
Here is your gem, Mistress Lisa Lisa.
Good girl.
This is the perfect cut, the marvel of the natural world,
the Ultimate Aja.
So you had that stupid ruby the whole time?!
The Mystics of two millenia past were eradicated by the Pillar Men,
but successfully concealed this gem from them.
I shall continue their cause, and conceal this stone as they had.
Caesar, I know what you're going through.
The terrors and tragedies our grandfathers and others faced because of the Stone Mask...
All because of Cars's accursed creation!
Smash it!
Smash that stone to smithereens!
It's about time we torment them by breaking their precious jewel!
That, I cannot do.
Why not?!
It is said that "without the Ultimate Aja, they cannot be defeated."
You're yankin' me leg here!
I wish I were.
Nevertheless, I will defend this gemstone to the death.
Jojo, Caesar...
I have one final trial for you both.
A-A final trial?!
Caesar will be paired with Messina, and Jojo to Loggins.
Duel and defeat them.
Episode
Entrapment Ahoy!
Are you ready, Caesar?
Ready and willing!
Dawn will be breaking soon...
and the darkest hour is always before the dawn.
But where, oh where, could dear Loggins be?
You're a real force to be reckoned with,
but I'm ready to pay you back for those three rotten weeks!
Is that Loggins...?
I-I don't believe it!
I-I can't believe it!
Loggins is...
d-dead?!
A-ACDC?!
The only reason you'd ever be on this isle is if you knew...
It was the next isle over.
She who bears of the Ultimate Aja resides on the main isle.
His lungs have been pulverized.
One of two susceptibilities all Ripple users share.
And all it took was a single lunge to his lungs...
Here lies the body of Drill Instructor Loggins.
For the past three weeks, this twat tormented my entirety through the Ripple Regimen.
I wanted so badly to pay you back for my suffering...
but now, you can just watch from above...
as I avenge you with your teachings!
Hold it, ACDC.
I had six days remaining, but I've had a change of heart.
I'm gonna rob you of your nose ring now!
Make way.
I have no time to waste on you.
Bollocks! You've got plenty of time to waste!
Sharp sight.
Your gaze could cut through me, even.
But the last time I encountered one with oculars as sharp as yours,
he met a dull end.
I'll spare you one last breath.
Make way!
Make contact with me, and I'll bite off more than you ever wanted chewed!
Make me!
My...
Make me make way!
I only ever make way for me morning bowel movement!
He's managed to penetrate my flesh with perpetual Ripple energy...
And it only took him three weeks to learn some control...
Unfortunate.
Your small growth spurt in the Art of Mystics surprised me.
However,
you were never going to be ready to face me!
I grew tired of devouring multitudes of you arrogant Mystics two millenia ago!
I will rend your arm asunder!
Once I do, you will never channel another Ripple through it!
Bend!
Didn't see it before, did you?
I wrapped a thread of silk around your arm!
I had it soaked in canola oil to increase Ripple conductivity!
I wish I could've strung you up by your neck,
but beggars can't be choosers!
Where did this thread come from?!
F-From the corpse!
I admit, it's a despicable scheme cooked up in poor taste,
but I consider it a joint effort between Loggins and I, ACDC!
2,500 years ago, there was a military treatise in China, known as The Art of War.
One proverb proceeds
"Every battle is won before it is ever fought."
Meaning,
that victory is assured to the side whose schemes go unnoticed before the battle is ever fought!
I was a tried truant when it came to school,
but Nanna Erina taught me tons about history, so I consider it my forte.
You've lived longer than me, but that doesn't mean you've learned to scheme like me!
Twirl!
C-Curse you!
What, are you angry?
Angry that you allowed your amputated arm to evaporate?
Well that's just too bad!
I'm more ticked than you are!
Because of your bloody ring, I haven't had a good night's sleep these past three weeks!
How could you?!
My precious arm has perished!
What's wrong with him?!
H-He's bawling!
I thought he'd be pissed from the pulsing pain, but this arsehole's just full of surprises!
I-It's pretty disturbing to watch him wail about like a baby!
My poor arm!
H-He's giving me the creeps, more than anything else!
I'd better lop his head off now!
That was a good weeping.
You see, I have an unhinged disposition.
Whenever my anger peaks its threshold, only crying will soothe the agitation.
So you are familiar with The Art of War...
As am I.
Long ago, I crossed over into the realm of Sinae.
"War is the art of deception."
"All warfare is based on deception."
"If your foe is of a choleric disposition, anger them, and expose his every weakness."
Your attempt to exploit my anger is admirable,
but I cannot be angered.
Nevertheless, Jojo, your growth has left me awe-stricken.
Your control over the Ripple has earned my admiration.
Long have I been without a worthy foe to fell.
H-How could you desecrate his corpse?!
It's slightly slim, but with time, it shall reform into my own arm.
H-He's hard to figure!
His anger, actions, and emotions are all haphazard!
Unnerved by my actions?
Has my cruelty left you concerned?
I-I don't know!
I've been able to act upon the emotions and slips of every enemy I've faced,
but I just can't put a finger on this twat's thoughts!
It's like he's reading my mind, instead!
Loggins's corpse is...
B-Blazing!
H-His corpse has spontaneously combusted!
But how?!
When animals expend energy for any task, their endothermic temperature rises to an extent,
but I can raise the endothermic temperature of my own blood to 500°C.
And when I severed this arm, I injected my blood into that body, which caused it to combust.
Wham is known as "Whirlwind Wham" for his mastery of wind,
but I am known as "Infernal ACDC..."
for my mastery of flame!
When you induced his corpse to spontaneously combust on contact, I'll admit you had me concerned,
but the fact that you deliberately did that to unnerve me is as plain as day!
Clobber him, my Ripple Bolas!
My Ripple powers have increased since our last encounter!
You are concerned.
Concerned for your safety and driven by desperation, you attacked with so tactless a tool, Jojo.
I'll stab your skull with my tendrils and turn your face into a fiery mess.
Feast upon the Hellfire Tendrils of the Infernal ACDC!
Jojo...
Here I come, Caesar!
Bubble Barrier!
That's enough, Caesar!
We carry this on any longer, and we both will die.
I hate to admit it, but I've lost this duel.
I've been training here ten years longer than you have,
but your Ripple barrier bereaved my forearm of its fuzz.
Prolonging our duel would only serve to further my humiliation.
Caesar, you've passed the final trial with flying colors.
You'd observe the trial of that bumbling Brit, rather than celebrate your victory?
My Ripple powers only developed to this extent because I wanted to overcome Jojo's own.
From the day we survived our encounter with the Pillar Men, we were bound to each other.
He may be prone to make reckless provocations,
but he's got a heart of gold.
You have little finesse with making any male friends,
yet your attraction to him is alike a lass's.
Th-That's...
ACDC!
He's avoided my injections through flight...
I-It's a good thing this respirator blocked his tendrils...
Cor blimey, that burns!
His blood's blazing hot!
Arsehole!
I haven't even breathed a real breath of air, and you've already seared my sexy lips!
Me skin's singed, you shitter!
Jojo...
Your provocation is nothing more than a diversion to allow you some seconds for scheming, no?
Your face speaks the truth.
My assumption is correct, is it not, Jojo?!
With my next plan of attack...
I-I should stick with the Thread Shredder.
While avoiding his onslaught,
I'll bob and weave around a section of spikes and loop a thread around them.
They'll have to stay inconspicuous...
and when he steps into this section, I'll trap him in the thread and finish him with the Ripple!
D-Does he really have to snicker?
C-Could he have already seen through my scheme?!
No! There's no way he could know!
Feast your eyes on my Hellfire Wheel!
You will not escape the inferno of my Hellfire Tendrils for long!
Finally, you've taken notice.
Wouldn't you like to know why my cap's shrunk so?
It's because you've entered my Thread Shredder!
This cap is 100% made of wool,
meaning it's highly conductive to Ripple energy.
Wh-What's with the smirk?!
Y-You won't be smirking for long!
Your next phrase will be,
"It's about time I wipe that stupid smirk off your face!"
It's about time I wipe that stupid smirk off your face!
H-He's got my gibe down!
What shredder might you be speaking of,
save for my own?!
I've already seen through your shabby scheme!
Jojo, do you recall your citation?
"Every battle is won before it is ever fought."
I'll have to agree with your every word!
Down to the very last syllable!
However, it was my Tendril Tactics that bested your Thread Shredder!
I will now proceed to pierce your body with my tendrils,
and inject my blazing-hot blood into every bit of your body!
Your body will burn beautifully, and your flesh will flow alike the wax of a lit candle!
Jojo's in trouble!
H-He won't make it!
Caesar!
From what we can see, I could only surmise that Loggins has been killed.
If Jojo is defeated, we will have to intercept ACDC afterwards.
Reaching that isle will take too much time,
and even then, it'll be too late.
As heartless as this sounds, we must prioritize the defense of the Mistress and the Ultimate Aja!
Now, we will make preparations for his interception!
Jojo...
Jojo! As I sear your skin, sing for me a sorrowful symphony of your screams!
As you stand entrapped by my tendrils, you still dare to snicker?!
Has the fear of your impending death driven you insane?!
Listen.
I snicker at your stupidity because you haven't realized your defeat yet.
Your defeat, which stems from that awfully long slumber of yours.
Defeat?!
What defeat?!
Wait, you didn't know?
I thought you could see through all my schemes.
If you did, you'd understand the cause of your downfall.
You only thought you had me with your Tendril Tactics, but you were deluding yourself!
Give mankind two millenia, and we'll make progress in small steps.
This'll sound trivial to you, but between the 18th and 19th Century,
the heyday of illusionists and magicians came when stage magic became a form of entertainment.
And I just happen to love the magic of illusions!
I-I severed that thread...
H-How could it still be whole?!
Behold the magic of the Restored Rope!
I snuck another thread in secret, in case the original was severed, keeping the Thread Shredder solid!
Even if the red thread is severed at
these points, the hidden white thread
will keep it whole.
Even if the red thread is severed at
these points, the hidden white thread
will keep it whole.
The oldest trick in the book!
And now you'll say,
"Before you channel any wretched Ripple energy, my tendrils will drill you full of holes!"
Before you channel any wretched Ripple energy, my tendrils will drill you full of holes!
Be ripped by the Ripple, and shred by my thread!
How could I be...
humiliated so, by a mere man?!
I am one of the Omnipotent Organisms!
I can't be killed by this cur!
I will have your head for exposing my own!
Face my flames!
I-I can see some sort of energy being released from his body!
It must be the lifeforce he's accumulated over so many millenia!
Begone!
And may the lifeforce you've stolen from the multitudes of men be purged from your combusting body!
Loggins...
I owe you a word of gratitude for your teachings.
Grazie, Loggins!
Santana survived our duel and remains paralyzed in stone...
but ACDC's body combusted and left not a trace.
They should've made it one way, or the other.
Maybe it's because my Ripple powers have amplified since then.
To the victor goes the well-earned spoils of a small antidote.
Why does this antidote look so much like snot?
It had been on his bloody nose for God-knows-how-long...
Oh well, bottoms up.
The antidote has done its duty.
I just can't feel that ring around my trachea anymore.
I should catch up with Lisa Lisa and Caesar on the main isle.
I used a lot more brain than I did brawn against ACDC...
Maybe that's why my shoulder's so stiff.
Six Days until Marital Dissolution of The Heart
I'll be the round about
The words will make you out 'n' out
I'll spend the day your way......
Call it morning driving through the sound and
In and out the valley......
The muses dance and sing
They make the children really ring
I'll spend the day your way
Call it morning driving through the sound and
In and out the valley.....
In and around the lake
Mountains come out of the sky
and they stand there
One mile over we'll be there and we'll see you
Ten true summers we'll be there and
Laughing too
Twenty four before my love you'll see I'll be
There with you
Next Time
I think white will do just fine.
Hold it until after we've passed the border.
But I think this pattern has its own merits.
I'll kill them!
I'm at a loss!
Goddammit, I can't hit her!
Episode
The Stroheim Squad Strikes Back